As I prayed with Murphy tonight at bedtime, she concluded her God-bless list with, 'God bless the cockadoo (a new, favorite nonsense word of hers) and, YOU, Mama!' When Carter prayed, she asked God not to let Mommy or Daddy or Murphy or Baby Wright die. These sweet prayers followed one of my more challenging evenings as a parent, but back to the beginning...
I had high hopes for this Monday when it began with all three girls sleeping until after 8:00 AM. Then Carter and Murphy made it through breakfast with nary a harsh word, Carter went on to have a great morning at school, and Murphy had her most sweet side on full display. They spent the gorgeous afternoon outside and set up a much anticipated lemonade stand with friends. They played well together right up until dinner. In the midst of it all, Baby Wright had an equally good day taking great naps and being content to watch all the goings-on around her.
As dinnertime was coming to an end, things started taking a turn straight towards crazy town. Baby Wright was done with Bumbo-sitting and self-entertaining and ready for some focused attention. The big girls began mildly bickering and generally bouncing off the walls. As the day began slowly coming undone, I must admit that I did, too. We wrapped up dinner (Carter finishing hers and earning a brownie bite; Murphy eating pineapple, one bite of chicken, and two bites of a quesadilla), and headed  towards the bathtub. I gave Baby Wright a quick bath and then went to feed her while the big girls played together in the tub.
Splashing, screaming, and squealing were the sounds I heard coming from the bathroom as I nursed the baby and tried to help her relax for bedtime. At one point, the sounds became so loud and indiscernible that I headed into the bathroom, baby attached, to discover the girls were spitting large amounts of water out of their mouths at each other. I gave a stern warning and a few idle threats. As I was trying to wrap up nursing, I could hear that the energy level had amped back up. I then began verbally policing the girls through the wall. I was getting angry. And anxious. And irritated. And more angry. As I sat there, feeding the baby and listening to all the insanity, I made a decision: when I got the girls out of the tub, I was going to give each of then a spanking for their naughty behavior.
(Now, I have to deviate here for a second. I am not a spanker. Sure, I've swatted a fanny a few times, but spanking is not my go-to method of discipline. It may be for you, and that is fine. I don't judge your style of parenting, so please don't judge mine.  I aim to be deliberate in my parenting and intentional in making every consequence teach something. I cannot seem to reconcile what exactly I am teaching my children by hitting them when they don't do what I want them to do.)
Once I'd made this decision, I called my husband. I knew that I was angry and needed a second opinion from my Partner in Parenting as to whether or not a spanking was a rational and fair consequence for their behavior. He didn't answer. I kept nursing the baby, listening to the sounds from the bathroom, and becoming more and more irritated. I began to get an actual plan for how the spankings would take place, and I called my husband again. He still didn't answer. I tucked the baby into bed and headed into the bathroom, fully prepared to go through with my plan.
I was short and curt and demanding as I instructed the girls to get their hair washed and climb out of the tub: so much so that Carter reminded me that I was not saying 'please.' I wrapped them up in towels and combed out their hair. I lined my little lovelies up on the bathroom floor, sat down on their level, and I changed my mind.

They're good girls.

They stick together.

They love each other.

They make each other laugh.

Here's the thing: they were naughty, very naughty. 

(But doesn't leaving two already hyper children unattended in the bathtub 

just set up the perfect situation for silliness to get out of control?) 

Is there ever a time that spanking them may be appropriate and even necessary? 

Perhaps. But this was not that time. 

Were there consequences for the naughtiness? 

Yes. Early bedtime, no books, and no snuggles.

I don't have all the answers. Tonight, I trusted my intuition and chose not to respond out of anger or frustration. Like all Mommies, I'm learning as I go and am finding that I need as much grace as they do.

I'm glad I changed my mind. 

{God bless the cockadoo}

The Sweetest Things, Q1

As I sat down to begin writing, I took a minute browse over my past few posts. It was only then that I realized how absent I've been from blogging. One lonely entry exists in February and the same for March. No wonder I've been feeling the writing itch lately. Fortunately, the lack of writing has been due, at least in part, to my time being completely filled with life's greatest joys.
The Sweetest Things for the first quarter of 2013...

1. Breaking Bad... am I embarrassed that the number one item on my list on non-material things is a TV show focused on the production of methamphetamine? No, no I am not. OH. MY. GOSH. this show may be the best thing to have happened to Lindsay and me as a couple (childbirth excluded) in the past few years. If you're a blog follower or a real life friend, you know that he and I tend to do some of our best bonding over TV shows. It started a thousand years ago with The OC and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé and continued with The Office and Mad Men. I watched the first few episodes of Breaking Bad on my IPhone when Lindsay was traveling and immediately knew that he would be hooked. We plowed through the first four seasons on the weekends in February and March after all the girls were in bed. Hypotheses and opinions about Walt, Jesse, Skylar, Gus, and Hank began to permeate our conversations and Google searches. We have just begun the fifth and final season and will be sad to see our new obsession come to an end. (And are already thinking ahead to our next fix... Homeland, perhaps?)
   
2. Puppy Love...Addie, a rescued Beagle, stole my heart when Lindsay and I chose her from a shelter in Grand Prairie, Texas in 2004. When he and I married, she joined Sutton, Lindsay's schnoodle, to become our first 'kids.' Once we had actual kids, however, my time (and patience) for the doggies greatly dissipated. The doggies were more often found resting their crate or playing in the fenced in backyard than receiving any real attention from their mom and dad. Then, last spring, after having a growth removed from her mouth, we learned that Addie had cancer, and the vet suggested that she'd only live for about three more months. We decided that since we were expecting yet another actual child and planning a big move, our family would not provide the best pet home. So, Lindsay found a great new family for Sutton in Colorado where he's getting all the love and attention that hyper little buddy can handle. Addie went to live with my parents for what we thought would be a brief stint of 'hospice' care. Something about country life really agreed with her, though, and she not only survived but thrived while exploring the open spaces. Over the early months of this year, Addie spent several long weekends with us. We loved having her around, and Carter even taught her a few new tricks. She finally did lose her battle with cancer just a week ago, but we're so grateful for the quality time we got to spend with her and the perfect, loving home she had for her final months.
   
3. Visitors...when we lived in Denver, I loved the frequency of our houseguests, and I hoped that when we moved to Charlotte we'd still find our guest room occupied. Over New Year's, one of our favorite families from Denver stopped for an overnight as they became the road trip back to Colorado from Virginia. The house was full {seven kids in total!} and so were our hearts. The fellas caught a Tarantino matinee; we gals did plenty of gabbing; and the kids, of course, picked right up where they'd left off.
   
   Then over MLK weekend, while the hubby was slumming it in a luxury Mexican resort, one of my best-besties left Pittsburgh with her own tiny gal in-tow for a girls' only weekend. We laughed and ate and wined and chatted for three days straight, and I can't begin to say how excited I am that in just a few months they (along with her three fellas) will be an afternoon's drive away. 
   
   K and Wrighty Pie.
   
   Second cousins now. BFF's for life.
   The next long holiday weekend brought yet another visitor in the form of Ms. Wendy. When her hubby had suggested presenting her with a visit as her Christmas gift, I was both honored and super excited. She left her boys behind in Denver and just settled right in to our house of ladies. Wendy has a calmness, a serene nature that is hard to explain, but her presence was refreshing and soothing. Whether in the midst of kid-wrangling or over a ladies' lunch at Dean and Decluca, I loved every moment with her. 
4. The Murph...if you catch Lindsay and me together and inquire about Murphy you are likely to hear, 'She's terrible' (from me) and 'She's hilarious' (from him.) Who's right? Both of us. Murphy continues to challenge and frustrate and baffle me on an hourly basis, but she also ignites genuine hilarity almost as frequently. She pronounces her 'Ls' like 'Ys' and when I was trying to wipe her nose during a recent cold, she sharply suggested that I needed to 'Yeave-a my boogers a-yone!' When I asked her to please keep her thumb-sucking for bedtime, she whipped that thumb out of her mouth, and squealed, 'But it tastes so goooood! It tastes yike sugar!' and then popped it right back in. She's becoming less and less shy, and when a new face asked her for her name, rather than replying 'Jelly Samich' as she would have a few months ago, she proudly stated, 'Murphy Gace Wew-e-win!' She moved to a big girl bed in January, and I had been planning to hold potty training boot camp over spring break. Then, a couple weeks before, she asked to wear panties, and potty trained herself. Literally. I've done nothing. That's Murph... she'll do what she wants when she wants on her own little Murphy time. And, the whole house (especially poor Carter) is well aware of the wrath of the Murph should we try to impose our own will upon her's. 
   
5. The Tiny One...over the first quarter of this year, Baby Wright has gone from being a wobbly little newborn to an almost sitting up baby. She's the best. Really. She's a champ as both a sleeper and eater and is completely content to hang out in her Bumbo while her big sisters are running circles around her. Her disposition is completely pleasant and cheerful most all the time. I love taking her along on errands where strangers are pretty smitten with her, too. She grins from ear to ear at everyone who speaks to her yet has some innate ability to make every person feel like that smile is just for them. Folks often comment on her small size and her likeness to a real-life doll. After having baby with reflux and another with colic, Baby Wright is a mommy's dream come true. 
   
6. My Bestie...Carter Lilly. She's a four and three-quarter year old who's as eager to please as Murphy Girl is to rebel. I recently asked her to go throw some dirty clothes in the laundry room, and she took it upon herself to LOAD THE WASHING MACHINE with all of the kids' clothes just to 'help Mommy.' She loves to 'babysit' Baby Wright and cheers Murphy on in her potty endeavor with every drop of tinkle that hits the potty. I've tried to be conscientious in carving out one on one time with her and love our little conversations. She poses interesting questions, 'If God can do anything, can't He fix my bike?' and keeps me on my toes. She's a little Mommy for sure, and I often have to remind her to just worry about herself and let me be the Mommy. She is happiest when she is outdoors... whether wading in a creek or climbing a tree or digging in the dirt {wearing a twirly skirt, of course} and was the first to notice the budding of the trees as being an early sign of spring. I really miss her when she's not around even for a short period of time. I am loving how our mother-daughter relationship is already evolving into a friendship, too. 
   
7. An Wedding of Epic Proportions...when Lindsay and I got married in 2006, he was the first of the Wachovia crew to tie the knot. Since that day, we've attended the weddings of most of our groomsmen and have loved being a part of each of their celebrations. Over Easter weekend, we traveled to Dallas (minus the big girls, but Baby Wright tagged along) to witness the union of Pratik and Amy. To simply call this event a wedding just doesn't seem right. The bride, groom, and their families created a weekend full of fun in an atmosphere of excitement and bliss. The decor, the food, the drinks, the band... every detail was top-notch. Lindsay and I also noticed how the culture of the Indian wedding felt so much more like a true union between two families than traditional American weddings. We loved dressing up in our fanciest garb and catching up with folks who we rarely get to see all while celebrating the special couple.
   
   The Sangeet was a treat for the visual senses.
   
   There was dancing in the streets. 
   Literally.
   
   The Newlyweds.
   
   A quick selfie during the ceremony.
   
   Me at my most fancy.
   Black-tie for the reception.

So, I guess while I haven't been doing much blogging lately, I have been living a whole lot of sweet, sweet life. These entries always serve as a reminder to count our blessings.
They are abundant for sure.