If You Give a Mommy a Minute

One of my favorite parts of any day is sharing bedtime snuggles and stories with my girls. We've made stories a part of the bedtime routine since Carter was a babe, and Murphy girl has just started joining in on the fun. Some of my favorite children's books are the If You Give a... series by Laura Numeroff. Pookie can finish every line, and I can totally relate to these poor ADD-ridden animals' frequent distractibility!

Please enjoy my homage to mommies everywhere...

If you give a mommy a minute, she'll decide that she should use it to clean up dog poop.
When she goes to get a trash bag for the poop collecting, she'll discover that the battery packages are taking up too much space in the drawer, so she'll repackage the batteries into ziplock baggies.
As she's putting up the batteries, she'll remember that the flashlight needs new batteries; so she'll begin searching for it.
While she's looking for the flashlight, she'll come across a coupon for a kid's clothing website and realize that she needs to order some clothes before the coupon expires.
When she's browsing the clothing selection, she'll wonder if her little princess has a skirt to match the Patchwork Applique T-shirt, in Bubblegum, with Chicken. So, she'll go into her daughter's room to evaluate summer skirt options.

When looking through the closet, she'll realize that she's not sure what still fits her growing girl. So, she'll beg her three year old to participate in a fashion show.
When the fashion show is complete, she will go into the kitchen and get her angel three gumdrops as a treat for trying on the clothes without any too much whining.
While in the kitchen, she will notice that pancakes from breakfast are still on her daughter's tray, and she'll begin to clean.
As she's scrubbing the sticky, syrupy, mess, she'll remember that she has actually not eaten a bite of food all day; so she'll begin rummaging through the pantry and quickly scarf down a handful of cheddar bunnies and two Double-Stuffed Oreos.

When she's finished eating her "lunch," she will realize that she is parched as she has not had a drop of any non-caffeinated beverage in three days. She'll quickly gulp an entire bottle of Dasani water.
After drinking the water, she'll realize that she has not used the restroom since 3 AM when she was awakened by the dogs' barking. She'll sneak past her daughter, who is now engrossed in trying to scrape the gumdrops from her molars, and dash to the bathroom.
During her precious alone time, she'll glance at the shower and remember that some grown-ups actually take showers every day; so she decides to take one.
When she finishes up her luxurious four minute shower, she'll hear her baby whimpering on the monitor and realize that nap time is over a bit early today.
She'll quickly towel dry herself, slick her hair back in a wet pony tail, throw on some semi-clean clothes from the closet floor, and run upstairs lest the soft crying turns to wailing.
When she gets upstairs to pick up her littlest love, she'll discover that the nap time was cut short because of a ginormous poop, and she'll begin to change her darling's diaper.
As she wipes the poop from between her daughter's shoulder blades, she'll be reminded of the dog poop that is still lying in the hot sun of the backyard.
And, chances are, if she remembers the dog poop, she'll probably need to find a trash bag to put it in...

It's kind of sad that my little ditty both begins and ends with poop, but I feel sure that most any mommy out there can relate. Many days do begin and end with poop, whether literal or figurative. This Mommy business may not be the most glamorous job in the world (or on this block), but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happy Mother's Day!