Lions-n-Tigers-n-Bears, Who Cares?

By its very nature, having a child in general and being a stay at home mommy in particular thrusts one into a whole other world of activities that the other folks (such as those who enjoy perusing the Sunday newspaper while sitting on their veranda and sipping a latte in peace) simply aren't involved. In an effort to keep our kiddos occupied and our days moving, we  mommies know where the best playgrounds are, what special exhibits are happening at the Children's Museum, and when the pool is the least brat-packed. Additionally, for many a mom, annual memberships to the Aquarium or the Butterfly Pavilion or the Zoo just seem to go with the territory. Not, however, for this mom. Let me not beat around the bush on this one: I don't really like animals. There. I said it. So sue me.
As a child, I attended countless circuses, took more than a couple trips to the zoo, visited a petting farm or two, and made several visits to science museums. As a nanny, I revisited all these same places-except fortunately this time I was getting paid. And, never, as a child nor as an adult, did I really enjoy these experiences. Maybe I am missing the gene that leads one to get all smiley at the sight of a barrage of elephants lining up tail to trunk. Perhaps I am heartless for not oooohing and aaaaahing at the sight of a tiny baby goat being fed by a baby bottle. I do know that as a result of a nearly debilitating phobia of snakes, the idea of entering any sort of indoor facility that may have glass enclosures makes me just plain nauseous. (Why is it that EVERY such facility has to have a snake? What role, exactly, does a boa constrictor have in an aquarium?)
So, when I became a mommy, I decided that I would take my child to the zoo when she was old enough to know what it was and ask to go. This lead me to turn down many 'play dates' with other moms who were getting the most use out of their zoo memberships. I did break down and go to both the Aquarium and the Butterfly Pavilion with the same friend but only because I was too embarrassed to tell her that I don't do that sort of thing.
Being true to my word, as soon as Carter heard about her little friends' zoo trips and asked to go, too, I did what any good mother would do: I had my mom take her. She had a ball; though, in reality, she was definitely the most excited about the cotton candy (as was I since she brought me a souvenir!) Then, about two weeks ago on what was quite possibly the hottest day of the summer to that point, I succumbed to the peer pressure of a favorite new friend (who happened to have free guest passes with her annual membership) and went to the zoo. Additionally, my Charlotte girls were visiting; they thought it sounded fun; and I always strive to be a good hostess.
I wish I could say that the experience of seeing my little one's face mesmerized at the site of flamingos and monkeys changed my opinion of zoos and the like; but, in fact, it did not. While at the zoo, I actually envisioned myself running through the exhibits trampling over people and animals using my double stroller as a bulldozer. When my mommy friend, asked me which path I'd like to take, I answered, 'Whatever's fastest.' I was able to feign enthusiasm when looking at the animals with Carter, but inside all I wanted to do was get to that darn cotton candy and shove it in my mouth while driving home in my air conditioned SUV!
So, should you invite me and my darlings to join you and yours on a trip to an animal-related play-date, don't be offended if I make up a silly excuse to politely decline. I'd love to join you for a stroll around the park or a lunch picnic or a pool day. But, when it comes to lions and tigers and bears, I really just don't care!