Thankful

Yesterday, Thanksgiving Day 2011, was filled with frolicking children, a fabulous feast, interesting conversations, reconnecting, and memory making. My lil family of four spent the day with one side of my husband's large extended family at a lake front cabin in Oklahoma. It was truly a wonderful day, and I was purposefully aware that my sweet girls are making holiday memories that will be sacred to them many years from now.
I also found myself thinking back to Thanksgiving of 2010 which, for me, in no way resembled this one. Though my husband and Pookie spent last year at this same cabin with many of these same folks, I was left behind in Denver recovering from a nasty stomach bug, managing postpartum anxiety, and taking care of a seven week old newborn who was in the throes of colic. My mom sacrificed her own Thanksgiving to come and keep me company and (in reality) aid in maintaining my sanity. Because the fancier establishments (such a Golden Corral) had far too long of lines, we celebrated the holiday by eating sub-par, luke-warm food at a local restaurant that is really nothing more than a university campus bar.
While on that particular day last year I felt sad to be spending a holiday away from my husband and my Pookie, when I recall that time in general the feelings were far more intense than mere sadness. I can vividly remember the feelings of helplessness that were at times overwhelming as my sweet Murphy Girl would cry for hours on end for no apparent reason. It was hard to imagine a day would ever come that was not dominated by Murphy's wails and my strong desire to comfort my baby while still managing to show my big girl all the love and attention she had received for the previous two and a half years.
Then one day after Thanksgiving but before Christmas, unexpectedly and without warning, the light began to peek through the clouds. Murphy's tears began to appear less and less frequently, and her bright, contagious smile was seen more often than not. Simultaneously her disposition became one of the sweetest I had ever seen before nor have encountered since. Life became more manageable, and the transition from one child to two suddenly felt much more smooth.
While I would not wish to relive those challenging months, nor would I wish them for others, I feel grateful for the perspective that those trying days helped me to gain. So, yesterday as I watched both of my girls gleeful and giggly with all their 'big' cousins, I felt an extra sense of gratitude, an additional measure of thanks, and a deeper appreciation for a home filled with both joy and peace.