Woo Hoo for Honey Boo Boo!

Back on this entry I announced my plan for writing a new blog every ten days till the baby arrives; well, clearly that was quite a success (insert sarcastic tone and expression.) And after this feeble attempt at making up for missing my regular entry, I did sit down today intending to get back on track with my quarterly Favorite Things/Non-Thing Things blogs. However, as I began to make my list of things, I realized that there is one particular thing that has brought me so much joy, so many laughs, so much marital bonding, such mindless entertainment that it simply could not merely be another item on the list. So, my friends, allow me to opine on the pure delight that is Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

I'm going to assume that all readers are familiar with this little TLC (yes, that does indeed stand for The LEARNING Channel) show that premiered in early August since it handily beat the Republican National Convention and tied with President Bill Clinton's speech at the Democratic National Convention in number of viewers. Having already been introduced to Alana (AKA, Honey Boo Boo) on one of my other favorite guilty pleasures, Toddlers and Tiaras, I was quite excited about seeing her off the pageant stage and in her own element. I never missed an episode, recording all of them on my DVR and watching some more than twice. Since Lindsay travels during the week, he never got to see an episode live, but I was happy to provide a little synopsis each week. Eventually (who am I kidding? after like one week), curiosity got the best of him, and he watched one with me on a weekend. Just like me: hubby was hooked.
As I watched each episode, I got a warm feeling for the entire Honey Boo Boo family: Sugar Bear, Mama, Chickadee, Chubbs, Pumpkin, and, of course, the title character. Self-admitted rednecks, their life-style is a bit foreign to my own (though not entirely different from some homes I observed growing up in the South), but their love for each other and their value of family is a universal quality.

As I got to know them week after week, I did have a few lingering thoughts...
Their manners, or rather lack of... I get it. This family prides itself on a 'we are who we are' philosophy, and I'm not suggesting they should change who they are as people. But, holy moly, a simple 'excuse me' after a pork-rind induced belch or exiting the table prior to passing gas or even keeping the passing of gas to oneself would not seem to be asking a lot. And, while I'm on the topic bodily functions... could someone please give Mama June some Claritin? That poor woman sneezes like nobody's business (without ever an 'excuse me' or even a head turn, for that matter) and could really benefit from a daily dose of allergy medicine! (Now that mack daddy of all sneezes released by Honey Boo Boo on her birthday party episode, that was pure comic genius.)
Their eating habits... this family is open about their love for food, whether it be hand ground road kill or expired items picked up at the auction. Sugar Bear took June out to a cafeteria style restaurant to celebrate their anniversary, and she opted to enjoy multiple desserts and bragged that she'd used her fork as she was trying to be extra polite on their date. When the entire family enjoyed a meal at a local BBQ joint, I got such a kick out of HBB sincerely asking the logical question, 'Why can't my sides be meat?' The one home cooked meal we saw June prepare (though she did say that she cooks for her family most every day), was sketti which was an 'old family recipe' consisting of spaghetti noodles topped with a mixture ketchup and margarine that had been nuked.

Yes, those are TOES on the kitchen counter...

Is it embarrassing for me to admit that, on the whole, the idea of buttered noodles topped with ketchup didn't totally disgust me? I was more bothered by the combination of margarine (and all those trans-fats!) instead of butter or a butter alternative and the unhealthy ketchup that was filled with high fructose corn syrup and the use of a plastic container in the microwave. I may have actually toyed with the idea of whipping up this little delicacy with Smart Balance and Simply Heinz (and my husband may not have objected to the idea...)
Their attire in the Georgia heat... so, the show was filmed in the middle of a Georgia summer that was no doubt 'hot as shit' as June told us week after week. Given that it was so blistering hot outside, why did the family wear jeans all the time? I can think of nothing more miserable than wearing a thick pair of denim jeans while participating in outdoor activities. My favorite June quote of the season came as a result of the heat, 'Being voluptuous, this heat don't mix with my digestive system well. That's why I don't eat.' Riiiiiiiiightttttttt...
Their language... admittedly, I'm a bit of a prude in the language department. My own children aren't allowed to say butt (just fanny), pee (tinkle is preferred), fart (toot, please), shut-up, stupid, etc... and I will most often spell a four letter word even if just in the company of other adults. This family, though, took offensive language to a whole other level, and I observed no differentiation between words that were ok said by or in the presence of six year old Honey Boo Boo. Neither were some words deemed inappropriate for dinner supper table conversation. HBB excitedly exclaimed that she was so happy she was going to 'piss her pants' and that she wished the 'damn gnats' would leave her alone. Not only were my prudish ears shuddering at some of the verbiage, my vocabulary was also expanded as I learned that both 'biscuit' and 'moon-pie' are apparently appropriate synonyms for the female genitalia. On the season finale, I discovered that Chickadee's baby had arrived via the Biscuit Express. Wow.
I'm excited to report that the show was such a success that not only has another season been ordered but some Honey Boo Boo specials are coming up just in time for the holidays. Since this family leaves up their Christmas lights year round, they should have no problem getting into the holiday spirit! I'm hoping we see a whole lot more Uncle Poodle and perhaps a tad less passing of gas. Perhaps a more in depth look at the man who is Sugar Bear and a vision check for Mama?

When I saw her Bingo Face make an appearance

in the pageant audience, I began hoping TLC would gift her with Lasik...