Fifteen

One week ago, I turned 35 years old. This birthday felt big to me, strangely much bigger than 30 felt. What's interesting, though, is that as this birthday approached, I found myself thinking much less about turning 35 and much more about the birthday I celebrated 20 years ago. As insane as it is for me to realize, 20 years ago I turned 15. I keep thinking about that 15-year-old girl and all the things I wish I could tell her...
Hi Beautiful! {Yes, I'm talking to you.}
It will be a long time before anyone ever calls you that and even longer before you feel it for yourself. But, trust me, beautiful you are.
Fifteen... And, yet, I know all you can think of is turning 16. You perceive all the other girls as being so much more mature; seeming to have it all together; seeming to know who they are. You feel like you're in some weird 'in between' stage - not a kid anymore but not grown up either. You struggle to play a role of who you think you're supposed to be or how you think you're supposed to act. Fifteen will be a hard year for you, and I'd like to share a little advice from someone who knows you pretty, pretty well.
Be YOU. And, yes, I do know you're still trying to figure out who you is. You know that little voice inside that whispers to you when something feels right or screams at you when it doesn't? Listen to it. You'll find that you are the happiest when your inside matches your outside, when there's a congruence between how you feel and how you act.
Relax. No, really. Relaaaaaax. Can you believe that you will take yourself and your life more seriously in these next couple years than during any other time of your life? Why? I can't say for sure beyond the fact that teenage emotions and hormones are kind of nutty. Things, all things, seem very serious right now; but believe me, Sweetheart, they are not.
Show kindness to everyone. Sometimes I've noticed that you get wrapped up in your own little clique even to the purposeful exclusion of others. But in your heart (that little voice I told you about) you are a sweet girl, and treating people unfairly has never felt quite right to you. Don't just treat others as you'd wish to be treated; treat them even better.
Smart is a good thing. Somewhere along the way, you seem to have gotten the idea that you can't be both smart and popular. I've even seen you act dumb at times. Girlfriend, there's nothing cute about stupid. This is an easy fix, though! You're a bright girl; anyone who expects you to dumb-down really doesn't deserve your time. (Trust me on this one. You'll really come to regret not doing your best in school when college applications come around.)
Boys are silly. Especially teenage boys. Don't spend one second of your life thinking about that boy who doesn't seem to want to give you a second glance. And for goodness sakes, dry those eyes! There's not a single boy you know who's worth your tears, Sweetie! (And when THE perfect fella does show up, you'll realize that he was totally worth the wait.)
Now, I've focused a lot on what's on the inside, and, no doubt, it is what's most important. However, we both know that the outside matters, too. So, My Dear, let me give you just a few tips on that front.
Hair. This is a biggie. I know how you envy the gals with the perfect hair, the hair that is completely unaffected by humidity and looks perfectly adorable in a randomly placed pony. Darling, that is not your hair. The sooner your accept this fact, the sooner you can move on to making the best of a not-so-great gene pool in the hair department.

1. Just because Fantastic Sam's has a coupon for a free hair-cut doesn't mean you should cash it in. Seriously. 
2. Pantene Pro-V will not do anything close to what it does on those tv commercials. It most deinitely does not create 'hair so healthy it shines.'
3. Invest in a good flat iron and learn to use it. (They'll get better and better over the next few years.) Cash all those babysitting checks you've been stacking up on your desk. There's no greater use of your money. 
4. Find a good salon (not Fantastic Sam's - I cannot stress this enough) and visit regularly. Ask for product recommendations and use them. 
5. You do not have to settle for the shade of mousey brown that your hair has turned over the past few years. A great stylist (see #4) can return you to your childhood blonde. A box purchased at Walmart, however, cannot. Don't even try. 
   
   NOT EVEN ONCE.
   {Orange hair flatters no one.}

Clothes. This one is a little tricky. The absurd dress code at school makes compiling a stylish wardrobe a tad precarious, but it can be done. Here are a few basic tips to get you started.

1. Avoid all sweatshirts that are decorated with furry animals, holiday motifs, or Disney characters. And for goodness sakes, no 15-year-old should be wearing a shirt embossed with puffy paint! 
2. Just because something's on sale, doesn't mean you should buy it. Even if it's at The Gap.
3. Those cheerleading uniforms are just hideous. If you insist on being a cheerleader, at least take that thing off before you go out in public. NO ONE WILL THINK IT'S COOL THAT YOU'RE A CHEERLEADER IN A SKIRT THAT LONG. 
4. Choose things that look good on you, not things that look good on your friends.
5. Take a friend who will tell you the truth (and who wants you to look good) shopping with you. Your mom is great at a lot of things, but fashion is not her strong suit. Take special advantage of your friends who have older sisters.
   
   Never. Borrow. Your. Mom's. Clothes.

Make-up. Wear it. It's pretty simple. Just take a little time to look your best each day. I know how hard it is for you to wake up in the mornings, but ten minutes to apply power, blush, mascara, and lip gloss is time well spent. This is another area that is worth a little investment. You can go cheap on the mascara, but spend a touch more on other things. It's worth it.
Sweetie, I wish I could save you all the heartache that comes with growing up, but I'm afraid it's just a part of life. Maybe it makes you feel better to know that all those people who seem to have it all together are just as confused as you are. And, can I let you in on a little secret? In about 15 years, something called FaceBook (It's a social networking site. On the internet. Never-mind.) will come around, and you'll see for yourself that the cutest boys and the most put together girls in this microcosm of high-school haven't turned out exactly as you might have expected.
I promise your life evolve in ways far greater than you could have even imagined. Things may not happen on the exact timetable you expect, but, believe me, it will all be worth the wait. And, just for fun, here's a little peek at yourself on your thirty-fifth birthday.

Were you expecting a jean jumper and gray hair?

(Looks like you finally mastered the mane!)